Take a Break from Self-Help

Maybe you don't need to be better than you are.

Think of something you’re trying to change about yourself. Maybe you’re working to:

• overcome anxiety

• let go of anger

• be more disciplined

• cultivate mindfulness

• increase productivity

• improve resilience

There are obvious upsides to efforts at self-improvement. But the costs can be less apparent.

The quest for self-improvement can feed into the belief that your self-worth is tied to being a better a version of yourself.

Constantly trying to get better can also get in the way of really living, as if you’re not allowed to fully inhabit your life until you get yourself all squared away.

Not surprisingly, self improvement can turn into self-focus, which doesn’t lead to happiness. Self-focus prevents you from getting outside of yourself in ways that feed your soul, such as being of service to others or connecting with the divine.

What’s more, self-improvement as an end in itself just isn’t very fun or interesting! There’s so much more to life than self-as-project.

Perhaps the biggest cost of excessive self-improvement is that it suggests you’re not worthy of love just as you are. Rather than receiving love as grace, you keep trying to earn it through your efforts.

For all these reasons, today’s practice in Your Daily Reset is about resting from trying to fix yourself:

From Your Daily Reset: 366 Practical Exercises to Reduce Anxiety and Manage Stress Using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

What is one thing about yourself that you can make room for exactly as it is? Rest from trying to make yourself better. Let today’s version of you be known and loved.

Daily Practices to Manage Stress and Anxiety

I had a great conversation with Jennifer Reid, MD about the big benefits of small daily practices. Here’s the episode on Apple Podcasts and on Substack:

Your Daily Dose: Bite-Sized CBT Strategies

With love,

Seth