Time Is Not Your Enemy
Beware of the Speed Trap, which makes life a race against the clock.
Notice when your relationship with time feels adversarial. It might start first thing in the morning as you rush to get yourself and maybe your kids out the door. It continues as you power through your morning, checking the time to see how much you’re getting accomplished.
Obviously there’s nothing wrong with needing to do things quickly. You only have so much time, so getting a lot done in the time you have can be a good thing—especially in a society that places a premium on efficiency.
But if you’re not careful, you can wind up getting caught in the Speed Trap. The speed trap is when you get stuck in the habit of always trying to go as fast as possible, as if speed is the ultimate good. This cognitive distortion warps your relationship with time and turns life into a race against the clock.
You’ll know you’re in the speed trap when you’re rushing through everything, even when you’re not actually pressed for time. You might catch yourself thinking things like, “This is taking too long—I should be done by now.” A lot of the time this belief is implicit, but you can feel it in your actions.
You might just be out for a walk but you keep feeling like you need to go faster so you can get on to the next thing. It might come with you on vacation, so even time off isn’t relaxing because the clock is still ticking.
One of the biggest costs of this distortion is that it makes being here a problem, because you’re always trying to get there. So you’re out of alignment with the reality of time and space.
It also adds constant stress to your life. And your experience gets lost in the process, as if the only reason to do anything is to get to the end of it.
The speed trap isn’t great for relationships, either, because it leads to things like impatience and not really being with the people around you—and maybe seeing them mostly as things that might slow you down.
There are many ways to escape from the speed trap. Sitting meditation is a great one, because you’re deliberately stepping out of the rush to do nothing, at least from a productivity standpoint.
You might also choose one activity that you’ll allow to take as long as it takes, without rushing or looking at the clock or telling yourself you’re going too slow.
And you can devote a block of your day to not knowing what time it is. Go for a walk without your watch or phone, for example, or go for an all-morning hike on the weekend. Be in the sensory experiences as much as you can. Feel what it’s like to value your experience, free of constant rushing and clock watching.
With love and hope,