What If You Didn't Have to Worry?
Practice letting go of things you can't control.
Worry is a demanding voice that’s good at grabbing your attention. It continually reminds you of the uncertainty in outcomes you care about:
What if I mess up?
What if they’re mad?
What if I get sick?
What if I’m late?
What if I fail?
The real trick of worry is that it pretends you need to do something about outcomes you can’t control. It tells you that it’s your responsibility and you need to take care of this now.
But worry is twice wrong: (1) You can’t solve the future in your mind, and so (2) it’s not your responsibility to carry the mental weight of worry. You can anticipate and plan as best you can, but you don’t have to continuously prepare for things that likely will never happen—and end up missing your actual life.
Most of your worries won’t come true, so you’ll be rehearsing for a drama that never sees the stage. In the process you’ll experience the stress and fear of all those dry runs.
For the small subset of worries that become actual problems, you’re more prepared to face them than you realize. Having a real problem you can deal with is much more manageable than thinking at a problem that exists only in an imagined future.
When the voice of worry calls, politely decline to play its game. Shrug off imaginary hardships by saying, “We’ll see…,” and stay close to your real-time experience.
It will take repeated practice, because the pull of worry is persistent and persuasive. But with steady effort you can break the habit of constant worry.
This practice is adapted from today’s entry in Your Daily Reset, which offers a short exercise like this one for every day of the year. As the new year approaches, it could make a nice holiday gift for someone on your list, and also for yourself.
252: Practical Ways to Cope with Daily Hassles
How can you find more peace in each day, even when things aren’t going exactly the way you want them to? Joel and I discuss many ways to cope with life’s daily struggles, from changing your perspective to removing the source of predictable problems. You can’t eliminate daily hassles, but you can experience a lot less stress and strain.
With love,