You Really Don't Have to Worry

Question habitual assumptions that keep you constantly on guard.

Constant worry can be exhausting. As soon as one concern resolves, another takes its place. If you worry all the time, you would probably love a break from it.

And yet it can be so hard to let go of worry. One of the biggest factors that contributes to worry is the assumptions that it’s something you have to do.

The mental calculus often looks like this:

Situation I Care About + Uncertainty = I Must Worry

Not worrying can feel like you’re forgetting something or leaving something important undone. It’s a heavy load but it feels like it’s yours to carry.

You might even find yourself trying to remember what you were “supposed” to be worried about if it slips your mind. Recalling the target of your worry can almost feel like a relief, like remembering a task you need to do.

But what if you don’t have to worry?

Worry doesn’t provide any of the benefits it promises. It doesn’t help you solve problems. It doesn’t make you safer. It doesn’t protect your emotions when things go wrong. Worry just gives your mind something to do when you’re confronted with the limits of your knowledge and control.

While letting go of it might feel dangerous at first, you’ll find that there’s no real cost. Your worries are based in fantasy because what you’re imagining will probably never happen. But more importantly, the scenario you worry about is fundamentally different from what it would actually be like because you would be there to deal with it. So whatever you’re worried about would be much more manageable than you fear.

Since your worries don’t amount to anything, you lose nothing and gain a lot when you lay them down. So practice telling yourself the truth:

There is nothing I need to worry about.

Catch your mind when it goes searching for your worries. Free your mind to do anything else—to read, be with loved ones, do your favorite hobbies, look at the sky….

That’s not to say worry is an easy habit to break. You may have been training your whole life to be a worrier, and those pathways are deeply etched into your brain. It will take consistent practice and reminders to divert your mental energy toward more useful activity.

Consider a mantra that helps you release the worry habit. Some examples include:

• It’s not my job to worry.

• I’ll think about that when the time comes.

• I’m just going to focus on today.

• I don’t have to solve the future.

• Or simply, I really don’t have to worry about that.

See through the lies that worry tells you. There’s enough to deal with today, or this hour, or this very moment. Run the race that is set before you. Challenge the premise that it’s your responsibility to worry.

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Take a Break from “Self-Improvement”

Are you tired of chasing “better” and ready to start living fully now? I recently explored that approach with Anna Seewald on her podcast. We discussed many ways to reclaim presence in a culture that conditions you to believe you’re broken:

With love,

Seth